Building blocks or stumbling rocks?

A few days ago I read an article written by one of the fascinating young women I have had the privilege of being friends with. She spoke about emptying the bowls that had stale food in them as an analogy for letting go of things that were no longer helping your state of mind. It was a good and timely call. A few days ago I had the unpleasant double tragedy of losing all my data and work when both my external hard disc and internal laptop hard disc crashed within the same week. As you can imagine I was devastated. My collection was classic and well stocked. It had taken me almost three years and lots of money to create my library of e-books, audio books, sermons and documentaries and since I am addicted to reading, losing my library felt like the end of the world, my world. The most difficult part to accept was the fact that, I had also lost the first few pages of the book I have been working on for a while now.  After going through the mandatory grieving period that lasted for the whole of 4 hours, I knew I had to make a decision. 

 

The first question I knew I had to ask and provide an answer to was “Was I going to allow this event to stop me or was I going to let it propel me instead?  A building block or a stumbling rock? I knew that the answer to this question was going to change my life whether I answered it right or wrong.  It was going to determine whether I would wallow in self-pity or rise up from the ashes like a phoenix and become even better. I chose the latter. 

Life is littered with numerous judgement calls like this; Periods in our lives where something unexpected happens and you are left grasping for breath. It might be the collapse of a business or start up you might have invested your life savings in or the death of a parent or even a partner. It may be the failure of an evaluation examination or even the diagnosis of a terminal illness. A point where the traffic light of life seems to be stacked in the red and there seems to be no detours in sight. What do you do then? How do behave and who do you turn to? Do you throw up your hands in despair and give up, or do you brush off the dust and get right back to work? 

If you read the biographies of people who achieved unparalleled successes and changed the course of history, you will discover that, almost all of them had to answer this question at a certain point in their lives. When faced with herculean challenges and tragic failures, they had to choose whether to see it as a stumbling rock or a building block. This is where their destinies were changed. This is where they transformed from ordinary to extra-ordinary. A classic example of a great man who chose to see failure as a building block instead of a stumbling rock is Abraham Lincoln.

Having failed several times to win any political seat whatsoever, he eventually became the president of the United States of America and led the nation through perhaps, the most critical moment of its existence. Having seen the effects of backbiting and hatred first hand in his very colorful and perhaps painful political journey, he understood the need for unity and the tenacity to win a war that was being fought between brothers and countrymen. He chose to use his failures as building blocks instead of allowing them to become stumbling rocks of bitterness and defeat.

How can I talk about extra-ordinary people and leave out Nelson “Mandiba” Mandela? Imprisoned wrongly for more than two decades for demanding for his rights and protesting apartheid, he came out of prison to contest and win the presidency of his beloved South Africa. Equipped with the humbling and deep thoughts of love and peace he developed whilst incarcerated, he led his country to heal wounds of racism and hatred and abolished apartheid. He saw his struggles as building rocks instead of stumbling rocks.

The underlying and hence fundamental point in choosing the right answer lies in perception and response, not denial and reaction. How you see the struggle or challenge determines what conclusion you will make of it and its effect on you.  Will you perceive defeat and hence react with resignation or will you perceive a lesson learnt and hence respond with renewed determination and conviction? It all depends on YOU! In fact almost all the principles on which success is built on are direct outcomes of our choices. Life is really a series of events that are collaged mainly as a result of our choices and its consequences. So how will you perceive difficult and trying events your life? Stumbling rocks or building blocks?

In parting I would like to leave you with this saying by Anthony Robbins; “ I have come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy”. Remember the power is YOURS!