letters to my future wife part 4

My dear,

It is always such a delight to read your flowery constructions and the flair with which you paint words with poetic delight is simply amazing. Thank you for describing me as wise and in truth I am extremely humbled to hear such words from an equally wise young woman.  I know there are a lot of your sisters who could not easily swallow the salient points in my last letter, but I am glad you got the message.

Going natural or going light on make-up and artificial hair apparently is not as easy a lifestyle change as i hope it would be for our young African ladies. For me, it just goes to show how terrible the real situation of adulteration of our own culture has become. I am once again very glad you are willing to consider and take heed to my advice.

My dear, this time, I want to talk to you about financial smartness. It is apparent frugality is a lost art in our current generation and I wish to alert you of this critical issue. Many people live from pay check to pay check and seem to be programmed to spend exactly as much as they earn. There is no allocation for savings much less investments. It is as if, they are allergic to saving. My dear, in this current economic dispensation, not having any savings or investments is a dangerous thing. Relying solely on your monthly salary or pay check is simply not enough to have peace of mind. 

My dear, financial security is the ability to survive for at least six months without your monthly pay check or salary. The longer, the better. As young people starting life, I will like to advise you to develop the character of consistent savings and investments.  Many people, especially ladies, assume that, their husbands will handle the finances of their families so they are at liberty to spend as much they can get. It is rare to see an unmarried woman who is consistently saving for her future and that of her family. My dear, I would like you to be different.

Let me propose to you a formula that I have also started using. I call it the 70, 10, 10, 10 formula. It just means that, you divide your monthly salary or any monies you receive into four parts. 10% is your spiritual giving, which is your tithe. The next 10% must go into your savings account and the next 10% into your investment account. The remaining 70% is your spending or real allowance. It might be difficult at first, but my love, human beings are creatures of habit and hence after a while, you will adapt to living on 70% of your monthly salary. This combined with the thought that, you are securing your future will spur you on and give you the strength to go through. My dear, you have convinced me you are a very wise and pragmatic young lady, so I hope you see the wisdom in this suggestion.

Secondly, I would like to talk to you about financial discipline. My dear, there is no need acquiring financial knowledge if it will not translate into discipline. Discipline in committing to a well-structured budget, discipline in spending and commitment to savings and investments and discipline in living below your wages. This will take time my dear, so do not be worried if you begin to struggle. The most important point is to stick to the plan and get back on track whenever you go off track. 

My dear, it is not necessary to get every new electronic gadget that comes around. I find it hard to understand why some ladies would want to carry two or three phones around when it is obvious they only use one most of the time. The worst part is that, most of these people have no idea what their expensive smart phones can do except make calls, send sms and visit a few websites. 

These days, even fruits have become extremely expensive. You cannot hear apple and blackberry without panicking. Gone are the days when these fruits were just simple delicacies. My dear, if you do not need a gadget, do not buy it. Better still, if one phone can do all you want to do, why buy two more?

My dear, one very important issue too is the damaging habit of impulse buying. I am sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. This phenomenon is so dangerous that, many find themselves in chronic debt because they simply cannot control their buying habits. Shop owners and traders, understand this natural tendency to desire what one sees, and hence their job is to take your money from you whether you have planned to spend it or not. The essence of financial discipline is to equip you to keep your money. So I advise you to develop the habit of making a budget anytime you go out to shop and sticking religiously to that budget. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Finally, about your request to meet me, I am sure eventually we will meet. You have refused to tell me any more about yourself, nationality or even complexion, but I am a very patient young man. I feel I already know you, so I will just content myself with your beautiful words and my own very active and animated imaginations. My dear, do take care of yourself and be financially disciplined. I am working hard towards my own financial security too. Waiting to hear from you once again, and so till then, be good.

Your husband to be

Paa Kofi.

Charlie Chaplin, have some fun.

letters to my future wife part 3

My dear,

How are you feeling today? Ahh I can feel your smile right now and it sends tingles down my spine every time I imagine it. You are truly the oil that lubricates the mechanical parts of my heart. My dear, it is amazing the number of people who are asking me about you and why I seem to be completely captivated by your love. All I know and tell them is that, Oboade3 just took my rib and made you, so as soon as he told me about you I knew I have found the one. , I am convinced beyond any reasonable doubt that you feel exactly the same way and therefore let us work out our love with all commitment, passion and dedication as partners living and fulfilling our destinies. My dear, they also keep asking of your name, nationality and complexion, but since you have pleaded with me to keep it a secret, I am gladly carrying out your request with all my heart. I know in the time of times and the appointed time, you will introduce yourself to them. Sweetness, just as I promised, I have your poem ready. Here it goes,

I call you my African queen

Your beauty is timeless,

Your skin is fadeless,

Your lips drips sweetness

Your wisdom is ageless

and your heart is priceless...

You have a soul of gold

like the saints of old

Your skin is like polished brass

You are in your own class

Classic like jazz

Your eyes shimmer like moonlight in a stream

Mesmerizing, like a sweet dream

Cool, calm and precise

Intelligent, kind and concise

Your smile is like the sun

Radiant, splendid, like a master plan

Your face is shaped like an almond

Your nose set, like a diamond

Your laughter is like many waters

It flows and blossoms like pretty flowers

Your confidence is overwhelming

Your intelligence is compelling

Your manner is compassion

Your advice demands reflection

Many have sought to win your affection

But you still remain pure, without distraction

You are my heartbeat

With you, I am never off beat

I will hold on to you

 Because this love of ours is true

Many people have no clue

But we know, so we are cool

They sometimes call me a fool

But I only use that as a tool

You are my sweetness

My one and only.

I hope you enjoy reading it, nearly as much as I enjoyed writing it. Be safe and expect my third letter.

Your future husband

 Paa Kofi

letters to my future wife part 2

I am more that delighted to write to you again. I must say, I was almost giddy with excitement to have heard from you. The content of your letter is a constant pleasure to me. I keep reading and reading it. The wisdom in your construction and the humility with which you present even the most critical and controversial issues left me with awe and a deeper respect for your wonderful mind. My dear, I have listened carefully to your advice and admonitions and I have taken them very much at heart. I know irresponsibility is a major characteristic of young men of today and our lack of persistence and patience in the matters of life is also a worrying fact. I have committed myself to address all these things in my life and I am sure you are doing same.

 My dear, today I want to discuss with you, the issue of dressing. Sweetheart, please dress like your character and not like a character.  In this day and age of all manner of dressings, I plead with you to remain true to your character of utmost decency and decorum. My dear, I am sure you have heard the adage that “you are addressed in the same manner as you dress”. Some women would like to think otherwise but it is an inescapable truth that how you dress determines the impression people have about you. I know it is said not to judge a book by its cover, but it also true that seeing is believing. One must not tell you who a policeman is, before you know he or she is. The same applies to mad men and prostitutes. So I keep asking your sisters, “if you do not want to be treated as a prostitute, why dress like one”?

My dear, I am not in any way advocating shabby, unkempt dressing or appearance neither am I on a campaign against looking good and dressing well. I cannot be against looking fashionable since I love good and quality clothes myself. All I ask is you take very seriously, how you dress and with what you wear every day.  Dressing is meant to complement what beauty you already possess inside and hence over dressing or dressing shabbily is just a statement that indicates that there is not enough inner beauty and confidence. That is the very reason why they say beauty is in simplicity.               

My dear, another worrying thing is the phenomenon of wigs and artificial hair. God made short hair for the African because he knows our weather requires short, wooly hair that can withstand the hot sun and humid weather. He made our necks uncovered so that we could feel the cool breeze that soothes against the heat and dries the sweat. He made our hair short and soft, so we could keep it aerated and hence avoid dandruff and other infections. So why do we blatantly throw his wisdom in his face and tell Him we would rather prefer other people’s hair? I know this sounds extreme, but fundamentally, that is what it is. The worst part is the amount of money such stuff cost. If women keep buying and asking for these things from their husbands and fiancés, how can they expect them to save any money or accumulate any wealth? My dear, nowadays, Brazil does not just scare football lovers, it actually strikes fear in the hearts and pockets of all young men. I would like to be spared this particular trauma. 

My dear, only God knows what goes into the chemical treatment of these attachments and what harm they may cause to the women who have become addicted to them? Have you heard or seen any European, American or Asian deciding to buy Ghanaian or African hair as a beauty extension? Why have we sunk to the level where we even think our own hair is inferior to that of Brazilians? Many ladies think putting on these hairs is a demonstration of class and finesse, many men, myself included, think it makes some of your sisters scary, cluttered and lacking confidence. A word to the wise, they say, is enough. My dear, I plead with you to consider going natural or simple braids. It will make you look cuter and a lot more African.

                                                                                

Another major concern is excessive make up. 

My dear, the word “make –up” in itself denotes fabrication and untruths. So in effect the more you make up, the more lies you keep telling to people. I daresay, if women will continue to “make-up” their faces and hide their true looks from men, they lose any right to complain when the men present fake bank accounts, borrowed cars and rented clothes to deceive them. Do not be worried my dear, your beloved is not condoning these shameless acts, all I am doing is making a comparative argument.

Finally my, dear, you asked me in your last letter to write you a poem and I am happy to say, I am almost done with it. Also you asked me to pray for our union and I can promise you, I do that every single day. Oboade3 will see us through. Be good and take care of your pretty self. Hope to hear from you soon.

Your future husband

Paa Kofi