letters to my future wife part 2

I am more that delighted to write to you again. I must say, I was almost giddy with excitement to have heard from you. The content of your letter is a constant pleasure to me. I keep reading and reading it. The wisdom in your construction and the humility with which you present even the most critical and controversial issues left me with awe and a deeper respect for your wonderful mind. My dear, I have listened carefully to your advice and admonitions and I have taken them very much at heart. I know irresponsibility is a major characteristic of young men of today and our lack of persistence and patience in the matters of life is also a worrying fact. I have committed myself to address all these things in my life and I am sure you are doing same.

 My dear, today I want to discuss with you, the issue of dressing. Sweetheart, please dress like your character and not like a character.  In this day and age of all manner of dressings, I plead with you to remain true to your character of utmost decency and decorum. My dear, I am sure you have heard the adage that “you are addressed in the same manner as you dress”. Some women would like to think otherwise but it is an inescapable truth that how you dress determines the impression people have about you. I know it is said not to judge a book by its cover, but it also true that seeing is believing. One must not tell you who a policeman is, before you know he or she is. The same applies to mad men and prostitutes. So I keep asking your sisters, “if you do not want to be treated as a prostitute, why dress like one”?

My dear, I am not in any way advocating shabby, unkempt dressing or appearance neither am I on a campaign against looking good and dressing well. I cannot be against looking fashionable since I love good and quality clothes myself. All I ask is you take very seriously, how you dress and with what you wear every day.  Dressing is meant to complement what beauty you already possess inside and hence over dressing or dressing shabbily is just a statement that indicates that there is not enough inner beauty and confidence. That is the very reason why they say beauty is in simplicity.               

My dear, another worrying thing is the phenomenon of wigs and artificial hair. God made short hair for the African because he knows our weather requires short, wooly hair that can withstand the hot sun and humid weather. He made our necks uncovered so that we could feel the cool breeze that soothes against the heat and dries the sweat. He made our hair short and soft, so we could keep it aerated and hence avoid dandruff and other infections. So why do we blatantly throw his wisdom in his face and tell Him we would rather prefer other people’s hair? I know this sounds extreme, but fundamentally, that is what it is. The worst part is the amount of money such stuff cost. If women keep buying and asking for these things from their husbands and fiancés, how can they expect them to save any money or accumulate any wealth? My dear, nowadays, Brazil does not just scare football lovers, it actually strikes fear in the hearts and pockets of all young men. I would like to be spared this particular trauma. 

My dear, only God knows what goes into the chemical treatment of these attachments and what harm they may cause to the women who have become addicted to them? Have you heard or seen any European, American or Asian deciding to buy Ghanaian or African hair as a beauty extension? Why have we sunk to the level where we even think our own hair is inferior to that of Brazilians? Many ladies think putting on these hairs is a demonstration of class and finesse, many men, myself included, think it makes some of your sisters scary, cluttered and lacking confidence. A word to the wise, they say, is enough. My dear, I plead with you to consider going natural or simple braids. It will make you look cuter and a lot more African.

                                                                                

Another major concern is excessive make up. 

My dear, the word “make –up” in itself denotes fabrication and untruths. So in effect the more you make up, the more lies you keep telling to people. I daresay, if women will continue to “make-up” their faces and hide their true looks from men, they lose any right to complain when the men present fake bank accounts, borrowed cars and rented clothes to deceive them. Do not be worried my dear, your beloved is not condoning these shameless acts, all I am doing is making a comparative argument.

Finally my, dear, you asked me in your last letter to write you a poem and I am happy to say, I am almost done with it. Also you asked me to pray for our union and I can promise you, I do that every single day. Oboade3 will see us through. Be good and take care of your pretty self. Hope to hear from you soon.

Your future husband

Paa Kofi