Are You A Visitor In Your Own Neighborhood?

Recently some incidents happened in my neighborhood that got me thinking about how my neighbors perceived me, that is even if they recognized me as their neighbor. Apparently someone was reported to the police and got arrested for breaking into his own house. After the issue was resolved, it came out that, this person had lived in the neighborhood, but never interacted or spoken to any of his neighbors before. One day he lost his keys and decided to break into his house. When the neighbors saw a "strange" person breaking into a house, they rightly called the police. At another time,    someone offered me a lift and on our way, we realized that we lived three houses apart. We were neighbors and I had no idea. I was almost a visitor in my own neighborhood.

Most of us have stayed in places for a while now and yet have not ventured 5 houses on either side of our houses before. Others have taken the same route to work for over 5 years, and have never tried another route before. Some people have not spoken to over half of the people on their contact lists in over a year and yet, still call them friends. We are excited by the number of likes and followers we have on social media and yet, do not even know 10 people on a personal level. 

Some people have never struck up a conversation with a fellow passenger on a bus before. We have become numbed by our daily routines and waddle through life like automatons programmed to go to work, come back home and repeat every day with no detours. The worst part are those who only see their children on weekends. They are so busy working that, they have become visitors even in their own homes. 

As a society, we have become tuned off. It is just about us, our work and sometimes our families. We are living and yet have never really lived a day before. We look without seeing, touch without feeling and listen without hearing. We are alone in the middle of several crowds and live our lives missing out on wonderful human interactions. 

Mind you I am not oblivious to the dangers we experience everyday from strangers but forming healthy human connections cannot be over emphasized. 

So what should you do?

Slow down and take stock of your life. What are your priorities? Do people matter to you? Family, friends, neighbors, church? If they do then do these things. 

Start conversations with regular commuters you meet daily. Make time to get to know your neighbors. 

Listen to the sounds around you and allow the wind to blow in your face. Attend PTA meetings. Get to know the parents of your children's best friends and classmates.  Stop rushing off after church services and talk to your fellow church members some time. Invite friends over for dinner once in a while. Deliberately set a definite time to hang out as a family. Have meals together. Play with your children. Ask them about school and actually listen to them. 

Grow and Nurture relationships. Don't just exist, Live. Remember, your best and most significant assets will always be people. Don't be a stranger in your own neighborhood. 

By Dr. Samuel Tinagyei